” She made me do that!”, “If he hadn’t…then I wouldn’t have…”, “It just happened that way. I couldn’t help it”.
These statements all have one thing in common: they are built on the false premise that we are powerless and have no choice.
I had to experience one very heart-crushing relationship to FINALLY FINALLY learn that there is ALWAYS a point of CHOICE that no one controls but YOU. When you “play the victim card” then you are blaming others for your behavior & decisions. You have relinquished your power to choose your thoughts & emotions. You’ve given that responsibility of choice to someone else and it is NOT their responsibility to bear. Each of us chooses how we feel about an event. It is your choice. No one else forces you to make a choice. With big effort & great awareness (able to transcend the situation & look at the BIG picture of your life), you can maintain your calm, serenity & peace of mind in ANY event. Try it once on a little matter. Talk yourself into feeling better. Try to lean in the direction of what gives you relief. Go to movie if you need to. Distract yourself by gardening or going to the gym, etc….If you practice everyday to exercise a choice of which emotion to experience, it WILL get easier.
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