I’m not. I already know what I want (much of which I already have – happy/healthy son, great personal fitness, peace with who I am, fun&flexible career, amazing friends). Whatever has not yet manifested, is about to. I KNOW this. When one sets goals in the arena of dating (especially online dating!), there is a tendency to take action to accomplish your goal. When you don’t allow the Universe to gather the best components and bring your dreams to fruition, your results will be disastrous at worst or mediocre at best.
What WILL I do today? I’m looking back at 2013 to appreciate what I have. Only in the feeling of appreciation & happiness does the Universe send you more…
OK, again, we’ve all been there. The excruciating breakup. The breakup where your soul is ripped out, cut up, set on fire, dropped to the pavement & stomped on til it’s obliterated. (Yup. Been there)
Years later with the understanding of best friends, therapy & even support groups, (and in extreme cases – psychotropic drugs, lol) you can finally look back with some perspective and garner an appreciation for the experience. You KNOW it’s behind you when you can:
1) …Analyze events solely from the perspective of YOUR learning with no reference to them at all.
2) … Realize that the intensity of emotion caused HUGE rockets of desire into the Universe to more fully define the relationship that you DO want.
3) …Feel sincere appreciation that you have the ability & capacity to feel deep emotion for another human that motivates you to be the best human being you can be.
4) … Understand that it is NEVER another person’s responsibility to: 1) make you happy or 2) be the keeper of your peace of mind. The keys to your sanity, peace of mind & happiness belong in YOUR pocket – not theirs.
5) …Realize the person will always be a mile marker in your history & be OK with it.
6) …Stop analyzing it and put it to bed.
We are all seeking something whether it is a long-term relationship or one or several casual relationships. Or maybe we are seeking quality alone time…. Are you getting what you want? Or are you experiencing “near misses”?
Everything that comes to you is a perfect match to what you are READY for. Not necessarily what you are wanting but it’s a match to what you are emitting. “Near misses” aren’t a bad thing. They are there to help you define with more clarity exactly what you are seeking. Instead of being frustrated by “near misses”, understand where you are in your journey towards what you seek and be grateful that the Universe only sends what you are truly ready for…
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We’ve all been through it. You get in a funk about this whole “dating thing”. You start getting down on the process and getting down on self. Nothing seems to be working.
That’s when it’s time to take a break. Take a time out. Take time to recharge your batteries. When you proceed in anything when you are feeling down & defeated, it is a fruitless effort. My suggestion: Hide your profile/s. Go watch a movie with friends or go to a ball game with friends. Start a new home project. Pick up that hobby you were always curious about. Go to the bookstore. Go to the beach. Focus on enjoying yourself! Little by little, as the days go by (if you are focusing on other, fun things), you will get back to your upbeat self. Make “Alone Time” to align with happiness; align with yourself.
What you are thinking, feeling and saying about yourself is ALWAYS a match to what you see in the mirror. You aren’t just born the way you are – you CREATE who you are through your thoughts & feelings about yourself.
For example, “Oh, woe is me! I always hook up with the WRONG one! It’s inevitable. There is a sign on my forehead that says “Losers/Abusers Come to Me”. Take a look at yourself in the mirror – Does the mirror reflect a Victim? It’s because you are creating an image of Victim that attracts those exact circumstances. Another example, “I work darn hard in the gym and my body ROCKS!”. What do you see in the mirror? A physique that you are proud of. You create a point of attraction with your thoughts, feelings and words. If you don’t like your current circumstances – YOU have to change!!! Stop saying or thinking thoughts that do not reflect what you want. “I am really bad at relationships” turns into “I’ve learned a lot and am steadily on my way to the right relationship”. Or “I am timid and boring.” turns into “I am learning to come out of my own shell and am enjoying the process.” Take responsibility! Grab hold of the reins and steer yourself in the direction of where you want to be. Reflect that which you want to be.
This is my & my boy’s 1st Holiday Season living in a big East Coast city. .Well, it’s my first one back in 10 years. My boy’s very 1st on the East Coast. He is used to Christmas on the beach on Maui. While living on Maui, I longed for snow, a chill in the air & “city sidewalks..” Now that I am back, I am confused as to where home is There’s always a life lesson… Sometimes we manifest what we wanted before we take the time to align with what we want. How does this occur? We take action before waiting for the universe to bring together all the cooperative components. Not necessarily a mistake, just not easy, seamless or flowing.
Mele Kaliki Maka and Joyous Holidays to you all!